Pursuing Adventures

Time

All we have is time. Take time for you. Invest in knowing yourself and what you want. Move away from what was drilled into your brain about what you are supposed to do.

Create your own rules and never let anyone get in your way. If you keep encountering the same roadblock, bad relationship or stressful work situation then there is a lesson you have yet to learn. Take the precious time, dig deep inside and break the pattern.

There is no destination. Just a series of life lessons. Cherish time and be very present. Focus on what is possible for you.

Openings and Closings

Relationships are fragile and for me, transparency is key with people I am close to. This is about my disappointment with G because I checked my work email while I was on vacation. My bad. I thought writing about it would help me understand my reaction.

I try to treat people as I would like to be treated. But when I feel someone has crossed a line, I shut down. G will have to do a lot to ever regain my trust and friendship. She made a choice that she may believe is in her best interest but it has shut the door with me.

We need to be cognizant of boundaries -- not just our own but those of others.

Sometimes when someone crosses the line, they need to focus on their new destination and leave the past behind.

No one gives us the rule book but with life experience, we should have sufficient common sense to navigate the fragile threads that bind us to each other.

It comes down this: I despise games and value honesty. There is little time for manipulation.

Be straight -- even if it hurts.

Where G went astray is when she asked me if she could interview for another position and made some lame excuses, which I called her on. She was not honest. And by talking about it, she told me that she had already interviewed. I would have supported her but the way she did it hurt.

Her new life awaits her. I understand her rationale but her approach was uninspiring and dishonest. That is the crux of it and I need to get over myself on this issue.

What's next for me? How much longer at the insane asylum that is supporting my chosen lifestyle?

Maybe I need to write a business book first that will fund my lifestyle?

 

My love: the big blue ocean

This is truly a milestone. I am just feeling happy and alive right now. I have shed a lot of the preconceptions i grew up where certain actions were labeled as right or wrong. I don't care.

People can judge and they do but almost everyone battles with their own demons. As i was sitting at the ocean at sunset, i was watching the sand crabs scurry along without having to stop their work for the humans. And they were working at a furious pace. I at quietly watching and thinking about survival.

And what really hit me is that since my divorce, I have gone through this journey where I fully decided that happiness is within reach. And every day, i shed the emotional weight. What's next is taking better care of my vessel and truly being able to get to the next level. It is not enough to work on the spirit, the time has come to tend to ghe body ... After this trip :)

Watching the Newlyweds

Breakfast again. It has not become routine. Went back to reading Aleph and it is very relevant right now:

"we always tend to value what comes from afar, never recognizing the beauty around us."

" i had allowed myself to be slowly poisoned by routine."

Lots of thoughtful reading poolside today.

There are many newlyweds here. One couple who arrived yesterday caught my attention. Today, they arrived with their Kindles and smartphones. They are eating without talking. Each reading their ebooks.

And how funny is it that today I was asked if I was feeling lonely being here on my own. I have learned over the last five years to more and more cherish my alone time. There is also nothing that i feel I am missing by not venturing outside my cocoon. It is why I chose this resort. I needed to go deep inside.

I don't have my answers but i am not sure what the questions were.

Life is Good

I don't need to find myself. I am right here. The waves are crashing across the shore and i am sitting like a princess under an enormous tree taking it all in. I feel at peace. I am not sure what transformation i was expecting to occur in Thailand.

I feel rested and energized. I find it funny that i am the only single guest at The Naka Island. The staff have stopped putting two place settings down for me and some are getting used to me. There was a new guy at the beach who wanted to set a towel on the second beach chair. The world is still programmed for couples. And i feel so good in my own skin.

Being a couple does not always make you happy. I was watching strained silences at the breakfast table.

There is no manual and so many people fall into the trap of what is expected of them. I watched a single woman last week turning on the charm around single men. It was important for her to be recognized and rewarded with flirtations.

Some may argue that i am cyncial. I just am. I don't care about fitting into predetermined boxes. I have spent the past five years smashing them over my head and never looking back.

Pursuit

I skimmed an article this morning that talked about how the key leadership ingredient that is pursuit. I so disagree, which is funny because I do strategy for a living.

Here’s the thing – pursuit leads to attainment. What you pursue will determine the paths you travel, the people you associate with, the character you develop, and ultimately, what you do or don’t achieve. Having a mindset focused on pursuit is so critical to leadership that lacking this one quality can sentence you to mediocrity or even obsolescence. The manner, method, and motivation behind any pursuit is what sets truly great leaders apart from the masses. If you want to become a great leader, become a great pursuer.

I was just having a splash in the pool and it hit me that we are too obsessed with goals and what's next. I forced myself to swim and run without thinking about how long it was or which end i would need to reach or how many laps did I swim. Goals are important but not as a way to live every day. They are good for a direction but the obsession with achievement is what i want to shed and leave behind.

Day #3 in Naka Island - #9 in Vacation

Woke up and feeling lazy. I am surrounded by couples and families, including newlyweds.  I don't think that they are used to having single women show up and want to have a great experience. Hotels miss huge opportunities to cater to the needs of single people. Actually, what they miss most is their ability to create experiences and relationships with their guests as their approach is very transactional.  In reality, they should be seeing every guest as part of their marketing campaign to bring more people to their properties.

But, alas, I am on vacation so I won't even try to solve their problems.

I need to spend the next few days outlining my Ebooks -- The Journey: A Guide for Young Girls and Women; Social Business, The Future of Work and Talent.

I have to get my thoughts around what's next.  Do I get a medical leave? Do I open my own shingle? Do I move cities? I will listen again to my reading with Maria and take note of the key themes that speak to me.  I met the marketing director for this resort yesterday and we had a drink. She asked me whether I would consider moving to Asia. I feel so very lucky that I am blessed with so many options and it is all about following my own beat now.

So off I go to my steam shower, which is outside in the villa. I love the fact that my bedroom is at the center of the villa and is open.  In front of me is my splash pool and two sitting areas.  Behind me is the bathroom, open closet, steam shower, outdoor shower and a huge bath.  I am so fucking lucky and I know it.

On the agenda for today is breakfast, pool, ocean and signing up for some treatments. Life is good.

 

Sunrise in Phuket

Listening to roosters and birds very early in the morning in Phuket.  The rest of the gang is asleep and they must have had a wild time after I crashed as I found remnants of a drunken night with broken glass.   This is absolutely spectacular.  Not the broken glass but being here for a special friend's birthday.  

Most people spend their lives trying to escape instead of truly being present and available to the moment.  Our heads are filled, from a young age, with the notion that we must have goals and a purpose. Too many people spend their lives looking for themselves, not comrehending that they are right there.  No search required.  Just an ability to open their eyes and minds.

Letting Go of the Past

Too many people are too caught up with where they have come from that they dont realize that they can change their circumstances.  We hold on to too much irrelevant crap

This is a life changing trip because it is my journey.  It is about the now.  I am in the first leg of my trip flight UA 317 from SFO to LAX seat 2K.  I am finally truly enjoying my miles and am very present.  There is a gorgeous guy at the opposite side who keeps glancing over.  A good way to start the trip with eye candy.  I am ready for changing my life and starting to write.  Maria was right. I do have a lot to say and i do want to share.  I remember having this fantasy as a teenager to be a writer.

I did dabble in academic and then business writing.  But it never represented my authentic voice.  I feel a need o help others through my writing.  I just have to do it!

This is the first time in 12 years that i did not take my work computer.  I hope to put work out of my mind and focus on me.  All hat bullshit can wait.o

Barcelona

I feel so at home here and it's probably because of the 15+ years of friendship.   I had such an eye opening experience last week and then I got hit by the stupidest work email that made me so angry and disappointed.  But I got over it and realized that it is out of my control.  Assholes will be assholes.  And some times people you thought you knew turn out to be total strangers.   I do not want to be friends with this person any longer as they have such a warped view of the world.  

The only thing I can change is my circumstance and I am working on it so hopefully, it's just a matter of time.  And I have so much content for my book on the gap between reality and slideware.   That's what I am focusing on as it is a futile battle.  It's just sad to me that they care more about programs than people.   I care deeply about people and I will not change that at all.

Time to shower and get offline ... more later!

Adventures ...

I am finally packed.  Probably took too much crap but it is 3 weeks of road warrior stuff.  I am just sitting here, having some toast, listening to David Broza belt out some great words and guitar, while my photos flash on my Apple TV.  The next time I sit here, I will be uploading new photos of my adventures.

What am I doing this weekend?  Flying.  SFO --> Chicago --> Brussels --> Burundi --> Nairobi ... I will get there on Sunday night and am apparently doing an all hands with all the employees at 11 am on Monday.  I have plenty of time to think on the planes, especially since I could not get my hands on a 3G iPAD so no distractions for me.  It will come.

I am looking forward to this trip.  Africa.  I have been doing so much work on it in the past three years and now I get to go there and listen and learn.  How cool is that?

And then I get to hang out in Barcelona, one of my favorite places on this earth!  with great friends!!!!

I'll stop there since after that it's all back to work with HQ people who I try to allow to drive me crazy less and less.  Now, that is my 2010 goal: sanity and keeping away from morons.

Must get dressed now ... more from the road ...

. “Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” – Mark Jenkins

Taking time off

 I am taking today off and need to be offline AFTER I handle some email that has been stacking up in my Inbox.

Tranquility

Strutting his stuff

The good news

The news reports keep drumming into us that we have just experienced the worst decade of our lives.  It keeps repeating all the catastrophes and losses we've had - both financial and human.  Is that what makes news?  Where are the reports of all the good?  Does that not sell advertising?  Why are we so programmed to hear the bad news? 

I know I wrote a master's thesis on this topic but it seems like the media just perpetuates it.  This is what I like about being on social networking sites.  People post the good as well.  I like that.  I want to live in a more positive world.  And, I can choose not to watch the traditional news channels.

Ode Magazine has the top 10 positive news stories from the last decade since good news rarely makes the headlines.