Pursuing Adventures

At the Beach

Just love this time outside watching the waves crashing on the beach. It's like fireworks of crashing waves with the same exact explosive sound when they hit the sand. The sea is so stormy and beautiful today. It's magical with the glistening reflection of the water. I hope I get to walk on the beach tomorrow morning since the exit was blocked today with puddles of water. It's as though the sea was upset that Sheila and Vicky left yesterday! There is a young Japanese couple (they look like they are 12!) sitting next to me. They've set up their camera on the edge of the lounge chair so they can snap some photos. It's nice because they put the video camera down for a few minutes. Spoke too soon. He is diving into the water and the video is running. I think I made it into their video! The water is absolutely perfect today; much warmer than the last two days. I sound like such a lady of leisure but I really needed this break. It's good to just stop everything and chill. I realized that I am enjoying this time off much more than when I was in Hawaii. Even though I am surrounded by couples every where, I feel great about being on my own right now at this time of my life. And it's really fun traveling with girl friends who like to do what I like to do. It's easy and it flows. I haven't shared a room in years and it was great. There was a good rhythm between the three of us. I love the Japanese couple because they are quiet. The most obnoxious woman is in the pool talking to the couple on my left. She is wearing a bright read swim suit and a red headband, she is blond and in her 50s. Boy is she annoying! She has not shut up and everyone can hear her and no one really cares. She is so judgemental. All she talks about is her kids and their social circle. It is so fucking boring. I want to read my book in quiet, even my ipod can't keep her out of my range. There is no other topic for her discuss apart from her kids lives? I just can't relate at all to any of this. It's a totally different world than mine. Do these people realize where they are? Do they see the ocean and the beauty around them? I guess all they have is their kids' lives. Now, who is judgemental?? I am going to do my best to tune them out and focus on finally breathing and clearing my head. The pelicans are flying low today. There was one on the beach today looking helpless but he finally flew off. The band is starting to play outside; there must be a wedding or event tonight. It's going to get loud and I know all the songs by now. I am taking myself out to a nice dinner tomorrow night.

Loving Life in Cabo

Life could not be any better right now. This is truly bliss for me. At my feet, there is an endless pool and the big wide, beautiful ocean beyond.
With all the travel I do, I haven't taken enough time for me. I forgot how much I love to travel on my own terms. I like it better here than Maui - maybe because I am on my own and not burdened by a man who can't travel worth shit?
I never really understood the notion of co-dependence until now. It's so great to be free and independent. I do need my friends and family but I am whole again.
I am in my own world although it's starting to get crowded with all the couples.
Sheila and Vicky should be landing in less than an hour ... this is the life!

I am starting to think about my goals:

1) Start the new position. It's a bit scary and I hope I can help them out and develop new skils and contacts
2) Get healthy!

• Work out with Greg on more than stretching
• get a routine
• try yoga
• get back into pilates
• change my diet
• get in tune with my body; not just my head

3) Start writing to publish my first of many books - combine life and business, teens, etc.

4) Care less and less about what's expected

5) Make a nice salary to maintain my lifestyle and travel like I like to

6) Make a difference in someone's life

7) Continue the adventures

That's it for now

Why do I do this?

So I signed up for a dinner and I will need to get dressed soon and go. I am going to be positive that I will meet really fun and interesting people who have exciting and happy lives. And then I wake up and look at myself and say: "what the hell was I thinking?"

My shingles are really bothering me today and hopefully they are not trying to also ask me this question.
When I went for my lunch meeting, I saw this small blue plastic ball with ridges by my car and I was puzzled at how it got there. When I got back, I saw a whole bunch of them in the pond. So I took the pool pole and fished about 100 black and blue spiked balls out of the pond. How did they get there? Who put them there? Very strange. I am not on the street so someone would need to come up here and do this on purpose. Freaks me out a bit. I left them next to the pond so Mike can look at them and tell me what he thinks. A mystery.

I've gained weight so getting dressed in this heat is not appealing to me at all. But the clock is ticking and I need to leave the house in 12 minutes to get there on time.

Just got home and another total non-event. I was actually the last one there and a whole 4 minutes late. What can I say? There was a group of cute guys whose table would have been fun to join. One even looked me over!
So there were 6 people this time:

Mark who has worked for the Coast Guard for 22 years and is trying to figure out what he wants to do when he grows up ... he has 8 more years before he can cash in. He was very nice but geeky.

Bill who was cute but shy and very feminine. He works in IT for an insurance company. He sat across from me so I didn't really get a chance to talk to him. He kept smiling at me

And OMG, John, who was so obnoxious. He was a court reporter who sold his house and loves not having any roots

Kathy was very quiet. She introduced herself as a CPA with a daughter

Mary told us that she one more week in a marketing communication role with a financial services institution. She has 2 teenagers and has to sell their home and doesn't know what she'll do ... John jumped in right away with investment tips that took about 15 minutes. I think we all felt bad for Mary but it was odd ... maybe this attracts a guy? and then there was me ... can I say more?

I took a deep breath and hoped the next 90 minutes will be bearable. I seemed to be of interest to the guys who were questioning me about where I've lived, my job, my travel, etc. I tried to bring it back to the other women, especially since I had zero interest in any of them. I had a tomato dinner theme. I started with the gazpacho and then the heirloom tomato and mozarella tower. I was the odd ball as the rest either had meat loaf, pot roast or penne pasta (3 orders). They all commented that my tower looked like a burger and I was just missing the bun. It was missing a lot more. I just kept thinking about how I made a child's wish come true through the silent auction and that the rest doesn't matter.

So I need some advice, should I keep doing this? I feel like such a freakin snob but I have so little in common, so far, with the people I've met and it's starting to get annoying rather than funny. There has not been 1 person that I want to even hang out with.

My Birthday

I am in a total funk. I just realized that I only got back from London last week. It's all been so crazy and the last two days have been rough.

I had a great birthday this year. It was a lot of fun. I actually started it on Tuesday night at a premiere of Rescue Dawn with Jackie at the Metreon. The movie was so intense but the spirit of the Dieter Dengler who survived the Laos POW nightmare was incredible. Christian Bale did a fantastic job portraying this man. I came home and googled him because I was so curious about his spirit and when I learned what he had survived in his life, it became clear that he could live through anything.

On Wed., I went to see Live Free or Die Hard at 10:30 am thanks to tickets from Sheila. I walked up to the theatre and there was not a soul in site. I have never been to the movies that early in the morning on a week day. Everyone who worked there looked half asleep. I was surprised when I walked in to the theatre and there were lots of people there; not all retired or on summer vacation. It was a very fun movie and it made me laugh at the premise, which I won't share here to spoil it for anyone. I had a great light lunch at Va da Vi and then went home to swim. Friends were calling all day and it was so nice to connect with everyone. Dinner at Havana was a blast. Amy organized with Glenn and David who are always fun to go out with. And then she made me a very special ice cream cake (with coconut!!! my absolute favorite), which we had at her place. It was so wonderfully relaxing!

But I didn't sleep well on Wed. night and Thursday I was frozen all day at work. I had some disturbing calls in the morning and it was impossible to get motivated. I want to change jobs already. I want to be done with this position but it just keeps dragging on. I know that if I produce high quality work, there is no strong team to execute it. It's just a total fire drill culture with a very tactical approach. Don't get me wrong, I love some of the people I work with but there is no real team. And there is no engine to execute in the way I know we should. So my work seems very futile right now. I am done. I am out of energy and giving a shit.

So these are all endings ... I want to close the door on:

• this job
• my ex's junk in the garage. I want him to be out of my life forever already. Never to be mentioned ever again
• all outstanding legal BS
• this fat I gained while being sick

I want beginnings:

• Fun times
• Careless adventures
• A job that is local and I can sink my teeth in and have a life
• Being able to do volunteer work because I am homeStarting with pilates and then joining a gym
• Fun travel that has nothing to do with work

One big blur

So this week is one big blur because I was so high on the meds for pain management. I am still a bit foggy now but not as disoriented as I have been. It's been so strange since until today, I've had the same level of nerve pain BUT I was so high that I didn't concentrate on it. It was quite strange. And I was so distressed yesterday that I called the doctor and she told me the meds might take a week to set in ... I couldn't believe it. She prescribed some lower dosage drugs for next week. I also can't believe that she told me I could fly to London for meetings and wouldn't give me a note. So, here I am, flying again on Saturday with meetings from Monday to Thursday.
Owwww ... here is the pesky pain again. I can't describe it apart from feeling like stabbing needles. One can lose their mind. I should probably take more meds but I am insane. I got a call about a dinner tonight and I am going. So I am drinking Red Bull and Vitamin water to stay awake and need to flatten my hair and find something to wear. It's 102 out there.
The good news is that I am allowed to swim and I've gone twice since I saw the doctor on Monday. I probably would have been in the water every day if I didn't get my period on Monday afternoon. When I get back, I am planning on working out in the pool every day. It's also so great to just float out there, look at the blue sky and beautiful plants. I am so lucky!!!
Anyhow, time to get ready ... will post the latest ...

It's Time to Take Control

Ok ... so I am fed up and I am going to speak up. I have had a very frustrating day today and on top of it, I am having sharp pains in my left side ... if I still have them tomorrow, I will go to the doctor. I just bought some new probiotics at Whole Foods so we'll see what happens. I am also pretty stressed out and frustrated with work and dealing with my latest offer letter to the asshole.
I was planning on a fun night but the pains took over and I decided it's better to stay home. I put the groceries away and checked my email. I couldn't believe it but I got another rejection email. Third week in a row!
Dear AB. We appreciate your interest and effort in seeking an opportunity for a dinner arrangement.Unfortunately, we were unable to accommodate you with a suitable table to match your criteria on Friday, May 25,2007.We look forward to the opportunity to reschedule your next dining engagement.Please use the link below to update your future dining availability and view the Adventure Calendar which is filled with fun and exciting events that you can register for today.As always, we look forward to serving you. Sincerely, Dining Team
If I had paid the full price and had not made a kid's wish come true with the silent auction, I'd be flipping tables right now. This service has turned into such a joke. When I am feeling better, I will contact the Executive Director for a chat. It's making me think of how many single people are out there and maybe there is a business opportunity in this line of work. If I could afford to take a year off, I would try it out.
So here is the response I received to my email to the coordinator (not the exec director)
Thanks so much for your email. It looks like you have fairly limited availability (maybe 2 days a month). If that is the case, I encourage you to make a note in the comments section when setting your availability. Something along the lines of "This is the only date I have open this week." This way we know ahead of time that we need to make those extra calls to get men with compatible availability signed up on that same day.Otherwise, if you can provide at least two days a week to work with, we can definately get you out more frequently.I look forward to planning your next evening. Have a great day!!

Speed Dating with 5 Courses

So here is how it was advertised:
Join us for one of our most popular events--a dinner that allows you the chance to get to know everyone, but at a slower, more in-depth pace than the ever-popular Speed dating. We will enjoy a delicious five course dinner, wherein after each course, the women switch to a different table (that's right, it's time for the ladies to take their turn!).
Here is what happened:
I was in a pissy mood the whole day; don't know why. Maybe it was the call with the lawyer that I had this afternoon? I was in no mood to go out. Around 5 pm I forced myself to jump in the shower (again). I didn't have time to fuss with my hair this morning when I took a shower between conference calls. I only changed tops twice. I gained weight recently and I am not 100% happy with it and haven't done anything productive to get back into shape. And where was I going? To eat with a bunch of strangers. I never eat 5 courses! Anyhow, I am looking good although I may be a bit hot with the long sweater I am wearing. I have a bunch of clothes to dry clean so I am limiting myself today. And I am trying to hide under the layers ... so what's a bit of sweat between strangers? I am just hoping these are all new people but I am expecting the unexpected. But ... please no playboy bunny guy! Ok ... I better go ... I am always last to arrive ...
So I just got back home. Had to roll the garbage cans down the driveway before I could come in and blog my latest adventure. So, first of all, I walked into the wrong event but who could blame me? The guys were really cute but one of the women noticed that I didn't work with them. The dinner was in a very stuffy back room of a seafood restaurant in Walnut Creek. It was dark and felt old and used.
I walked into the room and the hostess gave me my name tag and I got a glass of cheap Chardonnay. There were 5 round tables waiting patiently for the men and women standing around to join them.
When people started to sit down, I decided to start my own table and see what happened. My Jewish lawyer from my last dinner came to sit next to me. I didn't even notice he was there. But he was sweet and much quieter with this group. To my right was Derek who seemed nice. Then there was Vicky who is in her late40s. She has been a member for three years and loves the events. She is looking for a younger man and seems to be stuck at 38. Tim was sitting to her left and was the one quizzing everyone. They had those stupid questions scattered on the table but luckily, no one picked them up. But it was first of 5 tables for the evening. It was the women who were switching tables so I got to know Vicky and Melinda very well. Melinda was dressed very sexy and she turned all the men's heads. My first impression was that she had a wild fight with her eyeliner and mascara ... and they won. Later on, I found out that she is a mother of 7 with 11 grandchildren. It was hard to believe!
In a nutshell, Where was the advertised "delicious food"? The food actually sucked. A seafood restaurant and the 2 entree options were chicken or pasta. Where was the Halibut? The first table turned out to be the most interesting. It was very funny when Tim revealed that he is a pilot for United; he looked familiar! It was the most intellectual conversation of the evening.
The second table had 3 guys and only one seemed talkative. Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G? And it all went down hill from there. The third table had 2 guys and by this point, I bonded with the 2 women and we even had our inside jokes. The guys were so dull.
The fourth table also had 2 guys. One was very cute but I could tell he was a player. He was all over Melinda until he discovered that she had 11 grandchildren. We ended up knowing some of the same people since he was in sales. The other guy kept going to the bar and getting pints of beer. He shared that he studied Portuegese when he was younger to go pick up women in Brazil! Need I say more? I didn't ask a lot of questions about his trip to Thailand. He was so creepy even though he was the only wearing a suit and tie. Looks can be deceiving. We did get into a conversation about jet lag and that is when the news (posted below) became the most interesting point of conversation the whole evening. Viagara caught their attention and provided for some laughs.
The last table had 1 guy. I felt bad for him. He was a software engineer from Taiwan who has been in the US for 24 years so it turned out to be more of a conversation between the women. Vicky gave him a speech to manage his expectations with the dinners and just expect to have fun. She also shared that she heard that 35% of men on match.com are married. I thought that was bizarre ... how would she know? And how many married women are there? I do believe there are people hiding behind their computers BUT you can meet psychos at a bar and/or in person. You need to have the same level of caution in person and online unfortunately.
Melinda joined the service because of a friend and I heard the story a few times that her friend met a new man in a bar. She told me she was 58 ... she really didn't look it ... and she seemed skeptical about the whole thing. We decided to drive together to the BBQ next week since we live a few blocks away.
I looked at my watch and I was so ready to go home.