Pursuing Adventures

A dream or a nightmare?

I have been going through the motions this past week after being home.   And then, this morning I woke up from a dream where I was waiting for a flight and when I went to board, a huge group of school kids cut in infront of me.  I thought I was boarding the plane directly but when I went through the door, it took me through the terminal.  I couldn't see my flight number so I went up to an agent at one of the gates and found out that it was not my flight.  The agent started to complain to me about the airline he works for and how totally dysfunctional it is.  He was starting to give me some advice and all of a sudden I felt a sharp object hitting the back of my leg, really hard.  When I turned around in pain and shock, it was an airline security agent who was yelling at both the agent and me.

And then I woke up ... confused ... and trying not to think about what it all means ...

The Irony: Who Are the Real Winners or Losers?

When you're growing up, your whole environment compares you to everyone else and expects you to conform.   Grades, sports, dance, tests, parties; they all force you to understand that to succeed in this world, you must be the best in whatever you want.  To be accepted, you must conform.   Isn't that's why schools have the cool, popular kids, the jocks and the geeks?    Every where you turn, you are put into a box with a big, thick label.  It's just the way it is.

And then, the irony hits.   You start working and realize that you are still in high school.  Because truth and justice do not prevail.  The organization you work for is still run by humans and people love to put labels like high potentials or bottom 5%.  As long as you stay in the system, you will constantly be labeled.

The people who are writing all the best seller "how to" books are the ones having the last laugh.   

Time to follow the good old heart instead of what is considered doing the "right" stuff.

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress."
Frederick Douglass

What happens when they run out of my PMDD meds

All I want to do is sleep.  I had all these plans today and I ended up working and finishing up some stuff that was hanging over my head.

I have not felt this alone and isolated in a long time.   I don't feel like I am part of anything right now although I keep making efforts and trying.   At home, my friends all have their own lives and I feel disconnected from it these days.   I need to make some changes.  I need to be living my life.  I feel like time is just passing me by and for what purpose?

I used to be a workaholic but life has taught me that it is a false reality.  

Random thoughts

Are we all just so afraid to follow our hearts?  What stops us?  Does our society tend to focus more on creating everyone like every one else that those of us who truly want to be who we are misunderstood by the status quo?

Yesterday at dinner we were laughing about organizations.  Marie shared that when the recession hit, the first area the industry association she works for cut was: professional development.  Irony at its best.  I wonder how the CEO felt when their members decided not to renew their memberships or not attend their conferences.   Why is there so much hypocrisy?

My Favorite New Word

is Mothership, which is used in the context of the headquarters for a multinational corporation.   Organizations have not evolved their models in years and the same issues come up in almost every company.  Luckily, they are well hidden from shareholders.  But for those of us who work in the field, the mothership is a cumbersome entity we need to deal with on a regular basis.  Despite multiple efforts, we spend so much time aligning internally.   I was just complimented on a call this morning between Dubai and the Mothership for my ability "to connect the dots and bring the right people together."

This is not what I want to be doing with my life.  I am in the wrong place.

Now is the right time to make change happen and wake up in the morning feeling upbeat instead of being totally depressed, which is how I am feeling this morning when I look with boredom at what I need to do.

Some Bill Maher

On a cold Saturday afternoon ... 

"Suicide is man`s way of telling God, "You can`t fire me - I quit."

"I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you`re not married and having children, it`s like your life is empty or you`re a communist meanie."

Simplicity

It's so interesting how we make things far more complicated than they really need to be.  We spend so much of our precious time second guessing and for what purpose?  It's like this both at work and at home.

At work, there are very few secrets.  People know what's going on and the closer you are to the top, the more you know.  But yet no one talks about it or addresses the issues directly.  There are tens and hundreds of conversations that happen in the sidelines but not out in public.   How much energy is sidetracked since people don't want to deal with issues?

Is it any different in day-to-day life?  We have more control and are outside of the machine and yet, in some cases, it does happen.   Issues fester and are swept under the table until they pop back out.  Why can't we all just get along?  I am so over high school.

"Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough."

New goal: Get Healthy and in Shape

I must start exercising every day - if it means a real workout or simply walking for 30 minutes - I must do it.   I have to simply shed part of my body that is holding me back from having the life I want.  I have been using it as a protective shield and hiding.  

I can't explain exactly why now but there is no time like the present to take control and get the life I deserve and want.  Everything is up to me.    It is my destiny to take care of myself and my well being.

As Albert Einstein said:

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

The Haves and the Have Nots in Corporate America

How do I summarize the past two weeks with all that I have experienced and processed?  There were times I was writing in my head and it never made it here - where I wanted to debate all the thoughts.  Oh, well.

Why do we persuade ourselves that we need our jobs to create the rest of our lives?

I met so many people in the past few weeks who may love what they do but don't feel rewarded or recognized for it all.  They shared that although they work in a multinational company, they are treated like second class employees.

20 Years without my dad. RIP

The purpose of life is to matter; To count; To stand for something; To have it make some difference that we lived at all

Live each day to the fullest.  Get the most from each hour, each day, and each age of your life.  Then you can look forward with confidence and back without regrets.  Be yourself – but be your best self.

Dare to be different and follow your own star, and don’t be afraid to be happy.  Enjoy what is beautiful.  Love with all your heart and soul.  Believe that those you love, love you.  

Forget what you have done for your friends, and remember what they have done for you.  Disregard what the world owes you and concentrate on what you owe the world.

When you are faced with a decision, make that decision as wisely as possible – then forget it.  The moment of absolute certainty never arrives.

—The Talmud

Another analysis

You are an "energy fanatic".  You thrive on positive energy, positive people, exciting and challenging situations.  Equally you are decimated by negativity. Your nature is to be totally passionate.  In your case, passion gives you energy and the more energised you are, the better you perform.

Logic and obligation don't motivate you. Criticism and ultimatums definitely don't. They actually crush you!

Inspiration, passion, excitement, confidence, encouragement and big rewards! All of these things motivate you to be at your best. Take them away and your performance, fulfilment and your personality diminish completely.

You have a very intense I.D.™ as you are very strongly driven by three of the  four Instinctive Drives™. This is why you have such an intense approach to all that you say and do. Others don’t necessarily see your intensity as you're a "master of disguise", but you know the energy that lies within and the intense frustration you feel when it is constrained.

Your I.D. explains why you are so drawn to new challenges and people, but get bored so very quickly, within minutes, unless the challenge and stimulation remains.

As all four Instinctive Drives work together, you will perform at your best and be most fulfilled when you:

• are in an environment, or creating one, which is very positive and stimulating;
  
• are constantly challenged with seemingly impossible projects and   expectations, especially those where you can make a stunning first impression;
  
• can move very quickly without having to justify yourself or be interrogated by others;
  
• are inspiring and persuading people to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do;
• are leading individuals and teams through uncharted territory, yet the pressure is on to produce outstanding results quickly and creatively, the first time!

YOUR FUTURE DIRECTION

 Your greatest talent is to inspire, grow and challenge people regardless of their status in life, past track record or level of desire.  You make this difference for others in many different ways and, because it is the essence of who you are, you often do it without realising.  It is a very special gift.

Always use your inventiveness to demonstrate by personal example how one should dare to dream. This is when you will be at your inspirational best! For you, if it can be imagined, it can become reality. If you try, you succeed. The only way to fail is not to try at all. With sufficient determination, experimentation and courage, anything can be made possible. Go make it happen!

Just make sure you have good people around you to fill in the gaps and tie the loose ends together so that you can stay focussed on doing what you do best, as a "change agent", "catalyst", "pioneer", "rallying the cause". These are all roles that come naturally to you.

Aim to make your roles, relationships and vocation congruent with this particular talent and you will be sure to gain the handsome rewards and recognition you need for a happy, successful and meaningful life.

Living under the microscope

Quick post since I have to be in the office at 6 am tomorrow and need some sleep.  I am just watching the Olympics and really struck by how much is counting on these partners giving the performance of their life time in just a few minutes.   I watched the disappointment of the Russian skaters who faltered.   Their coach would not even look at them.  The pressure is just so intense that it heart breaking to see that all it comes down to yet another competition of who is the best.

How much time do we spend in our lives trying to figure our life out instead of simply living?

That's what hit me last night on my drive home from a really fun dinner with a friend in Berkeley.  

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? 

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

— Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles)

We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way. (John Halt)

The greatest thing about being alive is that no matter how much we feel we have arrived, there is more to learn every single second.

What really sucks is when you realize that all those childhood fairy tales about love, princes and princesses do not exist.  We spend a life time closing the gap between expectations and reality.

Most of the days of the year are unremarkable.  But some days become memorable.

Some wisdom from Canadian TV:

• "Change. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. Sometimes it hits you over the head. And sometimes you turn a corner, only to find you're different in some small way, and the world doesn't look quite like it used to. So, where do I go from here? No idea. And for the first time, I feel like that's a good thing."
• "Everyone's got their own path. Some are only just beginning, while others end all too soon. However you do it, the fact is, the path you're on, the choices you make, define who you are. Choices. They're the building blocks or our lives, they shape our past, present and future. And despite all the mistakes I've made, every new day brings with it new choices and their whole new world of possibilities"
• "Seems most of the time we walk around with the world on mute. But when you're on the cusp of something dramatic and maybe life changing its like a filter comes off and suddenly everything comes alive, and even the smallest moment is in-viewed with the magic of possibility and you think this is the night when you drop your mask and reveal your true self, this is the night when everything is re-written."
• "When you're a kid, being a grownup looks so easy. Nobody tells you it's harder than it looks, that those feelings that you have that you don't measure up, that you're not keeping pace, they never go away. What do you do when you feel like you're the only kid in a room full of adults? Well, the only thing you can do, you smile, you step up, and you try your best to fit in. There comes a point when you realize, the truth is this: Being grownup is simply knowing who you are and having the courage to be that person, warts and all"
• "They say the greatest mistake is giving up; that true strength lies in the will to keep trying. Keep hoping things will get better. Keep reminding yourself all the things that you have accomplished. Keep everything in perspective. Keep up the fight. Because at the end of the day, that's what you're left with - the knowledge that you did your best and that you'll wake up tomorrow and try again"
• "How do you know when you're done? When it's time to move on? Sometimes the decision is impulse, other times you think it through. But no matter how we decide we're ready, the truth remains, the past is a hard thing to let go of"
• "Growth is painful. Change is hard. And there are days when you wish it would just stop. Wouldn't it be great to just know? To feel like you've finally figured it all out? To just be done? It's the hardest and most wonderful thing about being alive, that no matter how much you learn, grow or change, you're never done"
• "Conflict - it's everywhere you look, it touches everything you do, every relationship we have. Isn't it funny how at their core, all fights are the same. Two people yelling, or accusing, or running away. Two people doing anything to avoid telling each other what they really feel. Just talk when you want to run, reveal when you want to attack. It's so simple, so obvious. And at the same time, so incredibly hard"
• "When life pulls you apart, you have to work to stay close together by putting yourself in each other's shoes, by reminding each other of who you were and who you are becoming. By remembering despite all the changes that come, there are some things that will always remain the same"
• "Risks - how we feel about them says a lot about us. Every day, every moment we calculate, assess, debate and decide. But when you get right down to it, the truth is, when it comes to risk, the only thing that matters is that you take the ones that are right for you. Taking risk, diving right in, it comes more naturally to some than others. The trouble is, when you're standing safely back from the edge, you can't help but wonder if you're missing out."
• "Why can't I? It's a question that never goes away. Our whole lives are spent chaffing against the rules, pushing back the boundaries, trying to find a loophole."
• "The real question is -- if one day you stumble upon the truth, would you even know it? Would you even recognize it for what it was?"

Why worry?

There is empty space where my apple tree used to live.  It had been turned into wood chips. How many years did it live and it was just destroyed in 20 minutes?

A team of 5 men showed up, set up and took down two of my trees in less than an hour.  It's amazing what money can buy us in terms of taking care of the "homefront."

Now, one is walking around eating a banana watching the others clean up.

I wish my new apple trees were planted so I can feel a sense of giving back and not just as a tree killer.

For them, it's a daily event.  They told me about taking down a tree for $30,000 and showed me a photo so I could understand how hard of a task that was.  I got it right away.

This is life.  We constantly change our surroundings.  Some things you can pay money to happen immediately, while others you can't change easily at all.