Pursuing Adventures

Intolerance

One of the reasons I loved my Kindle was the convenience of not carrying heavy books when I travel and to be perfectly honest, the ability to make the fonts larger.  So when I dropped it right before my trip, I was mortified.  It transformed itself into a useless device.

I was in the midst of reading The Help and was really enjoying it.  When I got to the airport, I went to pick up a copy before I went through security.  They were sold out.  Yikes! 

My flight was delayed so the airport was fairly empty.  When I went to security, there was a group of 7 TSA agents waiting.  They told me they are doing a new test and need to swab my palms with this puffy thing.  One guy swabs and 6 watch.   Bizarre.  Apparently, my palms were fine.

As soon as I dress myself again and put all my crap away, I head to the bookstore and there is the book, waiting for me.  Success.   But what chapter was I at?   i didn't pay attention since I kept clicking.  I forgot how much I missed holding a beautiful, thick book.  I managed to find my place and realize I was half way through the book.  Who knew?

I will be honest that I will be getting an IPad - I do like making fonts bigger than wearing glasses.

And then at passport control, I was watching a scene that I found very disturbing.  I had just watched Invictus on the plane and read a bit more from The Help.  And here, in 2010 in London Heathrow, I am watching a very irate immigration agent belittle this man.  "How long are you staying in London?"  I couldn't hear what the man said but the agent barked back at him: "Then just put it down there, mate."  He was angry and belligerent and I felt like walking up there and giving him a piece of my mind.  But I was trying to get in the country and I did nothing except feel the anger spread throughout my body.

"So, why are you staying here until June 15th?" he taps his fingers in the guy's face.  Again, I can't hear what the man is replying.  But then the officer's demeanor changes and I hear him saying in a softer voice: "Oh, so you will be tidying the place up for when they arrive from Nigeria." I can't bear to continue but racism is alive disheartening.

And I must say, I love the courage of the women in The Help who want to speak out about what it was like to take care of the white families.  Some of the passages are heart breaking as they point to the ignorance of the people who employ these amazing women.   It's about fear again. 

When will these cycles end?

Wonderful Saturday

I had a fabulous day yesterday.  I started it with a workout with Greg who is helping me get stronger.  I am looking forward to getting a workout routine for the pool when it gets warmer out.   I then spent the rest of the day with Sheila and Jackie, which is always so great.  It's wonderful to have such an easy time with friends and just be.  We just hung out in Danville.  We ate, drank, walked around and shopped.  It was great.  We are all having some interesting challenges in our lives right now but when we are together, they just don't matter.  There is so much support, caring and most importantly, understanding and laughter.

Jackie and I went to Walnut Creek to see The Visitor.  This was one of the best films I have seen in a long time.   All I knew about it was that a professor goes to his apartment in NYC and discovers an illegal immigrant couple who are living in his place.  But it's about so much more.  It's also about losing one's sense of purpose and being totally lost.  And then, finding a new passion and a new way when the time is actually taken to address the issue.  It's also about the post 9/11 reality of life in the US.  It was heartbreaking and thought provoking. 

This movie spoke to me on two levels. One as a PhD drop out who became disillusioned with academia and while I had my ABD, walked away.  I found so many academics to lived in a different reality from the real world.  And this was what was interesting about seeing this professor who was going through the motions and writing about a world that he has not personally experienced. 

Meeting these two people whose only crime has been not being granted asylum in the US, changes his life to the core.  They not only let him live through their non-existence in a country that promises freedom, he also discovers a new passion for drumming.   While Walter continually fails in his attempts to  learn how to play the piano to get close to his dead wife who was a pianist, he is reignited by finding his rhythm when Tarek invites him into the world of African drumming.  When Tarek gets deported and Walter experiences the inhumanity of the fact that people can simply "disappear" because some official decided their fate without understanding what they are running away from in their countries, Professor Walter Vale finally gets a glimpse of his country that he has never written about in any of his books or papers.

The second area it spoke to me was around the entire immigration system that I have been experiencing for years now.   My crime was that I married an American who turned out to be a pathological liar.  My crime was recognizing it early and divorcing him.  How did that turn into a crime?  I had a conditional green card and I had to prove that I didn't marry him to gain access to this country.  My highly paid work lawyers screwed up my paper work by checking one box that should never have been checked.   Having a job that required me to travel internationally every 2 weeks meant that I had frequent encounters with US Immigration and the INS offices.   My other crime was my father was an ex-pat in Iran for 4 years and in his second year there, I was born.  So here I was a Canadian being born in Iran with Israeli parents.  I was on a list.   

I know, for myself, being sent to secondary immigration every 2 weeks when I came back home to the US from a business trip was not a pleasant experience.  It's like you don't exist and even though a mistake is made with your paperwork, you are considered guilty.  And I won't even repeat the stories of being told that I have no finger prints because I type too much and how many times I had to try.  I was lucky that it was resolved within a year by finding a human being at the INS despite my highly paid lawyers.  But what The Visitor shows us is that some people are not so lucky and have to live between the lines. While they get to experience some of the beauty of American life, they live in fear.  And that is justifiable since at any point, they can be sent back to the country they chose to run away from due to lack of human rights.  Post 9/11 all people of one group are branded the same.

The Visitor not only made me think.  It made me sad about the world we live in.  There is a huge distrust that is some times justifiable but it does not make an entire part of the population guilty.  Some people are just trying to get a chance of a life and that is a dream that the US has always given the people of the world a glimpse of.  The reality is that it is not attainable by all.

Meeting these two people whose only crime has been not being granted asylum in the US, changes his life to the core.  They not only let him live through their non-existence in a country that promises freedom, he also discovers a new passion for drumming.   While Walter continually fails in his attempts to  learn how to play the piano to get close to his dead wife who was a pianist, he is reignited by finding his rhythm when Tarek invites him into the world of African drumming.  When Tarek gets deported and Walter experiences the inhumanity of the fact that people can simply "disappear" because some official decided their fate without understanding what they are running away from in their countries, Professor Walter Vale finally gets a glimpse of his country that he has never written about in any of his books or papers.

The second area it spoke to me was around the entire immigration system that I have been experiencing for years now.   My crime was that I married an American who turned out to be a pathological liar.  My crime was recognizing it early and divorcing him.  How did that turn into a crime?  I had a conditional green card and I had to prove that I didn't marry him to gain access to this country.  My highly paid work lawyers screwed up my paper work by checking one box that should never have been checked.   Having a job that required me to travel internationally every 2 weeks meant that I had frequent encounters with US Immigration and the INS offices.   My other crime was my father was an ex-pat in Iran for 4 years and in his second year there, I was born.  So here I was a Canadian being born in Iran with Israeli parents.  I was on a list.   

I know, for myself, being sent to secondary immigration every 2 weeks when I came back home to the US from a business trip was not a pleasant experience.  It's like you don't exist and even though a mistake is made with your paperwork, you are considered guilty.  And I won't even repeat the stories of being told that I have no finger prints because I type too much and how many times I had to try.  I was lucky that it was resolved within a year by finding a human being at the INS despite my highly paid lawyers.  But what The Visitor shows us is that some people are not so lucky and have to live between the lines. While they get to experience some of the beauty of American life, they live in fear.  And that is justifiable since at any point, they can be sent back to the country they chose to run away from due to lack of human rights.  Post 9/11 all people of one group are branded the same.

The Visitor not only made me think.  It made me sad about the world we live in.  There is a huge distrust that is some times justifiable but it does not make an entire part of the population guilty.  Some people are just trying to get a chance of a life and that is a dream that the US has always given the people of the world a glimpse of.  The reality is that it is not attainable by all.

Great News

So the whole time I was writing about my last entry into the US of A, a letter was sitting in my mailbox. It's from Homeland Security and it says: Congratulations! The conditions have been removed and you are now a permanent resident. Wohoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
My new green card should arrive in 60 days!!! No more hassles. And I am totally done with Mr Drama King and not tied to anything!!!!

This Has to Stop ...

I was the fourth person off the plane in SF and headed to the custom control area. I heard this woman behind me saying that she can't understand why people rush off the plane when the luggage takes so long. I guess she has never experienced "secondary immigration." For some of us, it's not that simple. For the past 6 months, I've had an extra added to my travel because I've been sent to the bad place. 

So there was no line. I saw this officer waving at me. I gave him my passport, green card receipt and customs form. He looked confused as he was reading the receipt and then started checking stuff on his computer. And then my favorite line so far in this immigration saga: "why are you visiting the US?" I didn't miss a beat. "
"Because I live here"
"Oh," he said.
"How long have you lived here?," he asked while his head was still looking at the computer. He never looked at me. I could also barely hear what he was saying.
"Since 1996," I said. Let him do the math. He had the gun.
He just grunted and kept looking into the terminal. And then he said something, which I couldn't understand.
"I can't understand what you're saying," I said
He still didn't turn to look at me and said: "You need to go to secondary."
I said, "Excellent." He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.
He finally looked up and in an angry tone said, "what did you just say?"
I looked at him and repeated myself: " I said, excellent," and took my documents and started walking down the hall to the bad place. I didn't look at him again and I didn't feel a gun in my back.
I came into the back room and was pleased to see it was empty for the very first time ever.  There was no one being grilled about anything. I asked the officer if he wanted me to put my documents into the cubby hole. But he said he could take it. I sat down and waited. Another couple entered with duty free bags from Mexico. Apparently, there was an issue with their American passport. I just waited. The officer called me over and gave me my documents. He told me that he has been working there for over 20 years and the only reason I get sent to secondary is because the officers are lazy and are not doing their job. Just a reality.  Not something you want to hear after a 12-hour international flight.
I said my goodbyes and that I'll see him in 2 weeks. The woman sitting there said:" wow, you have to go through this every 2 weeks." I said, "yup." The officer said as I was leaving: "She is our special VIP."
Excellent!

The woes of travel

I am home and it's great! I landed early in SF yesterday but the immigration person in the little booth sent me to a secondary screening, which was irritating and a waste of time. If I got someone else, this wouldn't have happened but she was unsure of herself and was unfamiliar with the stamp in my passport. I can't wait to get my 10 year green card so I wouldn't be treated like a criminal ... I wish they found the bad guys instead! I had to wait in line and the people in the back room were so slow. When it was finally my turn, the officer asked me what my father's name was and then my mother's. It was all so ridiculous. They were concerned the stamp was forged by me at Kinko's. Unbelievable!
Then, I get my bags and call Sunni who has been taking me to the airport for the past six years. He tells me that his brother Joe will be picking me up. I was pissed since I told him the last time that I never want Joe to pick me up ever again. I can't stand him. And the two of them don't get along and I know the whole family drama. But I wanted to get home so badly. I just wanted to get in the shower and put some comfy clothes on. He decided to take the Bay bridge and the traffic was awful. He took no short cuts. When we finally got on 24, traffic was totally backed up. I asked him to turn on the radio to find out what was going on. There was a car on fire inside the Caldecott Tunnel. Ambulances, fire trucks and police cars were trying to get through. Instead of an alternative route he kept getting deeper into the traffic jam. I had to ask him to find a different way home and it took him 20 minutes to do so. At that point, he started to drive like a maniac and I went flying in the car. I couldn't wait to get out of the car and away from him. We finally got to the house after 8 pm. He brought 2 of my bags up and took his time to bring my tiny third bag. At which point, he told me that he will charge me $60 more. I now remembered why I never wanted to see him again. We had a few words and he left. I called Sunni and blew up at him. He apologized but wanted to get off the phone. After 6 years, I am done. I am finding a new service that respects me. Some times when you get too close, people take advantage of you and I am so done with it. It seems to be the month of closure with people with negative energy. I just don't like the fact they know where I live and am thankful that I have an alarm. I woke up a bit shaken up but got over it very quickly.
I had a fun haircut in Emeryville and took myself out to lunch, which was fun. There was a guy and a girl at the table next to me talking about his recent trip to Europe. I tried to tune them out but overheard him saying, " At the Vatican, they told us that if we stopped at every piece of art for 2 minutes, it would take 7 hours to get through. I wouldn't know where to spend my time." It got me thinking about how people don't just live and taken it what they want to. It's as though there is something they always have to prove.
I am so done with that.

No dinner for me on Thursday

I am having a challenging today dealing with all my lawyers ... I am waiting for the phone to ring with some news ... and then I received this email that made me laugh ... and it was automated ... how personal ... like a cut and paste Dear John letter ...

>>Dear ALB
We appreciate your interest and effort in seeking an opportunity for a dinner arrangement. Unfortunately, we were unable to accommodate you with a suitable match your criteria on Thursday, April 12,2007.We look forward to the opportunity to reschedule your next dining engagement.Please use the link below to update your future dining availability and view the Calendar which is filled with fun and exciting events that you can register for today.As always, we look forward to serving you.<<

I have not had suitable match yet so who knows what this means ... My apologies there will be no report on Thursday