All we have is time. Take time for you. Invest in knowing yourself and what you want. Move away from what was drilled into your brain about what you are supposed to do.
Create your own rules and never let anyone get in your way. If you keep encountering the same roadblock, bad relationship or stressful work situation then there is a lesson you have yet to learn. Take the precious time, dig deep inside and break the pattern.
There is no destination. Just a series of life lessons. Cherish time and be very present. Focus on what is possible for you.
I don't need to find myself. I am right here. The waves are crashing across the shore and i am sitting like a princess under an enormous tree taking it all in. I feel at peace. I am not sure what transformation i was expecting to occur in Thailand.
I feel rested and energized. I find it funny that i am the only single guest at The Naka Island. The staff have stopped putting two place settings down for me and some are getting used to me. There was a new guy at the beach who wanted to set a towel on the second beach chair. The world is still programmed for couples. And i feel so good in my own skin.
Being a couple does not always make you happy. I was watching strained silences at the breakfast table.
There is no manual and so many people fall into the trap of what is expected of them. I watched a single woman last week turning on the charm around single men. It was important for her to be recognized and rewarded with flirtations.
Some may argue that i am cyncial. I just am. I don't care about fitting into predetermined boxes. I have spent the past five years smashing them over my head and never looking back.
Woke up and feeling lazy. I am surrounded by couples and families, including newlyweds. I don't think that they are used to having single women show up and want to have a great experience. Hotels miss huge opportunities to cater to the needs of single people. Actually, what they miss most is their ability to create experiences and relationships with their guests as their approach is very transactional. In reality, they should be seeing every guest as part of their marketing campaign to bring more people to their properties.
But, alas, I am on vacation so I won't even try to solve their problems.
I need to spend the next few days outlining my Ebooks -- The Journey: A Guide for Young Girls and Women; Social Business, The Future of Work and Talent.
I have to get my thoughts around what's next. Do I get a medical leave? Do I open my own shingle? Do I move cities? I will listen again to my reading with Maria and take note of the key themes that speak to me. I met the marketing director for this resort yesterday and we had a drink. She asked me whether I would consider moving to Asia. I feel so very lucky that I am blessed with so many options and it is all about following my own beat now.
So off I go to my steam shower, which is outside in the villa. I love the fact that my bedroom is at the center of the villa and is open. In front of me is my splash pool and two sitting areas. Behind me is the bathroom, open closet, steam shower, outdoor shower and a huge bath. I am so fucking lucky and I know it.
On the agenda for today is breakfast, pool, ocean and signing up for some treatments. Life is good.
I have a lot to be thankful for today, even though I do bitch and moan in my blog but hey, it's better to do it than keep it all inside. And I am thankful I have a place where I can put down all my thoughts. I want to some day be able to help a lot of people. I feel that is part of my purpose in this world. To help people who are not as fortunate as me. I want to do so much more since I have seen the hope in the eyes of the kids who have nothing.
I am just thankful for ...
My sanity and gift of thoughtfulness
Lots and lots of common sense, enhanced by tons of life experience
The gift of friendship -- I am blessed with wonderful and amazing people in my life
Opportunities -- I have the ability to choose
Freedom -- as I look at how crazy the world is getting, I feel blessed by the fact that I have the freedom to be me. World events are getting crazy enough. York University, where I did my undergrad, is now anti-semitic. I was appalled to hear what is happening there and will consider withdrawing my degree if it turns out to be a university that does not like people like me. I have the freedom and a voice. I am lucky. I just hope our world is one that does not accept intolerance and hatred
If I ran the world, I would get rid of all borders. I think there are people who enjoy complaining and hard times. I just want peace and quiet
Here is two a year of tranquility, love and understanding. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Where does our society's obsession come from when it comes to constantly using numbers to rate ourselves against others? I think it is ingrained into the education system and sticks with us all of our lives.
Does self worth really come from numbers? Wow, look at them: they have x thousand/million followers on Twitter, x friends on Facebook, x contacts on LinkedIn, etc. They are listed as the top X influencers in X. We are absolutely haunted by numbers as a way to measure self worth and it is so wrong.
It makes people feel worthy and worthless at the same time. And in my books, feelings of worthlessness are very sad indeed if measured by any benign statistic.
I am at a point of my life where I achieved much and my quest today is to really figure out what I want to do to make an impact with people - not as a statistic or "hero" but as an average human being wanting to make a difference. I used to think I can do it by writing and trying to reach out to people as a way to connect.
I still firmly believe that a sense of community is key and in our statistics driven society, we lose focus on what is truly important by constantly trying to stand up. And the irony is that the people who lead the numbers games create a false reality for those who don't: they are not much happier than the rest. They just can gloat about their external, superficial ranking.
What are you doing today to bring some joy into your life? How are you tapped into a community that supports who you are? What can we all do differently to get our slice of personal worth?
I am finally packed. Probably took too much crap but it is 3 weeks of road warrior stuff. I am just sitting here, having some toast, listening to David Broza belt out some great words and guitar, while my photos flash on my Apple TV. The next time I sit here, I will be uploading new photos of my adventures.
What am I doing this weekend? Flying. SFO --> Chicago --> Brussels --> Burundi --> Nairobi ... I will get there on Sunday night and am apparently doing an all hands with all the employees at 11 am on Monday. I have plenty of time to think on the planes, especially since I could not get my hands on a 3G iPAD so no distractions for me. It will come.
I am looking forward to this trip. Africa. I have been doing so much work on it in the past three years and now I get to go there and listen and learn. How cool is that?
And then I get to hang out in Barcelona, one of my favorite places on this earth! with great friends!!!!
I'll stop there since after that it's all back to work with HQ people who I try to allow to drive me crazy less and less. Now, that is my 2010 goal: sanity and keeping away from morons.
Must get dressed now ... more from the road ...
. “Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” –Mark Jenkins
So, why is it that we have to manage our time? And why do we have a concept that tells us not to waste our time? How many times have you heard the expression: "there are only so many hours in the day?" and it always has a negative undertone with it.
Fact. Time goes by quickly. We celebrate anniversaries of time with holidays or celebrations - age, marriage (some of us like me also celebrate, divorce), death and every other significant "event." Our life is a series of events.
When we start going to school, we start learning about the rules. We are promised utopia for what happens if we pursue a good education and a lot more bullshit. We are given home-work that we do outside the day of learning so we can expand our minds and also, that we learn the importance of discipline. Lesson #1 - Rules and discipline are good. Lesson #2: Never waste your time. And, so it goes ...
Does anyone else apart from me realize how ridiculous this is? We are teaching people to follow rules and conform. That is what has been rewarded up to now.
If we stop to breath and think there are so many hours in the day AND what can I do today that brings me joy and a feeling of fulfilment, what changes would each of us make?
“Your time
is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by
dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let
the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most
important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow
already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
I was brought up by a father who constantly pursued truth and justice. It's actually what ended up killing him.
“What you perceive, your observations, feelings,
interpretations, are all your truth. Your truth is important. Yet it is not The
Truth.” Linda Ellinor
What is truth?
What I have learned is that there is a level of shared truth but then the lines get blurry and it becomes incredibly fuzzy. And the truth (sorry I couldn't resist) is that people don't want to hear the truth. That's why we hear people saying: "I saw the signs and it was the first time in my life that I didn't trust my gut." What that means to me is that they didn't believe what they assumed to be the truth and when someone showed them who they were in the first 15 seconds, they decided that it could not be possible. Later, they will tell you what a great learning experience it was for them. But we try to give people the benefit of the doubt and that does not always bring us joy.
A friend was dating this gentleman for three months. She wanted an intimate relationship with him but he kept inviting her out to fancy dinners. After three months, they started having conversations and this dining relationship ended. The bottom line is that he wanted a companion and not more. He did not come out and spell it out and created unrequited feelings. I guess I am getting old but I am at a point in my life, where I want clarity from people and not games. Even if the person does not know themselves, they know what dating is about. Even if they were true to themselves, for me, they did not face the truth. The truth that someone else was involved who was ready for a healthy relationship. Live and learn.
I find in organizations, everyone knows the truth of what happens behind closed doors. But they stand behind the door and pretend. Why? Because most executives don't want to hear the truth. They focus on the metrics and pay lip service to the people side of what really goes on. It's a shame because there a few people who are exceptional leaders who know how to motivate and get the most out of the people they work with. The rest put on lipstick on a bulldog initiatives and deal with their own truth.
Be true to yourself whenever possible. Tune out the noise as much
as possible and figure out what you want. You are not responsible for
other people's bullshit and agendas.
There is no destination. You have arrived. What will you do with this gift?
Cherish the REAL people in your life. Tell them how you feel.
Spend time with people who let you be yourself and love you for it.
Work should never define us. Invest the time and energy to have a rich life outside of what we do to pay the mortgage.
Realize it's all a game. Figure out your survival strategy (how
much bullshit you are willing to put up with). BUT, pick your
battles. They are not all worth it.
Know your assholes. Identify and react appropriately. If it walks
like a duck and quacks like a duck: it is a duck! Don't make excuses!
Don't take yourself or your job too seriously because in the spectrum of life, it doesn't really matter
Things that you may obsess about now , don't really matter. Do you
remember why someone in your life acted like a jerk 2 years ago?
There are many insecure people running around the planet who try to
use their "position" as way to control others. Never give anyone power
over you. At the end of the day, they are just not worth ever caring
about.
Some times you'll find yourself trusting someone who is not trust worthy. Learn and forgive yourself!
Make a lot of fucking lemonade. Figure out what makes you happy and adapt to it.
It's been an incredible week so far. I had so much fun presenting on social networking and got some very positive feedback. The most impactful was that people told me that I made them think, which is a huge compliment in my mind. I didn't realize how much I've missed presenting and public speaking until this week. It was so much fun and the people were absolutely great. I have a lot to write about Geneva but I arrived in Barcelona last night and Leah and I are going to go shopping now for Rosh Hashanah. we were up late last night catching up but it feels like I was just here yesterday.
I will spend more time writing/blogging this week, which I am really looking forward to.
I am so tired and trying to stay awake. I used to do better with jet lag. I guess I am out of practice, which is a very good thing. I am lying on my bed with my laptop and looking at the water. It's a beautiful sight. Duffy is singing Serious. I've been listening to music a lot so far on this trip. I could just hit the pillow again but need to stay awake until 9 pm. I wanted some food but the restaurant told me they open at 7 pm. I was tempted to eat a power bar but that's so silly.
Ok ... food is on it way ... hopefully it comes soon since I am starving!
I am reading a blog entry in Ode Magazine called Are You Happy? The premise is that most of us can answer almost any question about ourselves apart from whether we are truly happy. What is interesting is that studies have found that happiness is lower in the most developed countries. The US came in at #23 as having the happiest people. What it shows is that wealth does not determine happiness. Something I've always knows. I believe every single person has their challenges and have never envied anyone because I know they have their own issues. To be honest, I have wanted a smaller nose but I know that won't bring me any more happiness :-) I like this quote from the article:‘Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it
eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes
and softly sits on your shoulder.’
Amen.
I am ignoring the noise in the system because someone's bark doesn't matter any more.
Juicer. I bought it for myself for my birthday in June. It has been sitting quietly in its box since July and finally came out yesterday. It took me a bit to figure out how to take it apart and wash all the pieces. After my workout with Greg yesterday, I got veggies and fruit. This morning, I took 2 apples, 3 carrots and 4 celery stalks and made the most amazing drink. I had 2 glasses to start my day and all of a sudden, I had energy. To top it off, I put Abba on (quite loudly for early in the morning), jumped into the pool and did a morning ritual of swimming, dancing, running and singing in the water.
This morning was simply bliss. I am hoping for many more healthy days where I am in charge and don't let me get sucked into my hormonal moods. At the end of the day, most of us don't make the time to take care of our health. I got sucked into the pattern of always having something more important to do. But no more. When I am home, I am in charge ... and I have this great recipe book for juicing ... I am looking forward to making gazapcho with tons of garlic!
I am back for a brief break and then heading out again. I walked around but have no patience to shop. There is one art gallery I saw last night that I want to go back and check out. I found a quiet bar where I had a delicious pizza. The wine was awful so I didn't drink it. No reason to drink bad wine. It is really hot and climbing all the stairs makes you sweat when you get to the top of the town. And it's so breath taking that a bit of sweat doesn't really matter. Of course, the waitress put down 2 glasses and I had to tell her again that it's just me.
I started reading an article Michael left with me. He was one of the highlights of this week. We spent a lot of time talking and connected quite quickly. It's strange how you can meet someone and feel like you've know them for a very long time. He tended to share my perspective on the week as well.
So, I first used the article to cool myself off since I was so hot when I sat down. I then started reading what Robert Kaplan had to say in the last issue of HBR.
I got a bunch out of it like that ambitious professionals (I love this term) definition of success is often influenced by friend, family and colleagues rather than by what they believe. And no matter what they accomplish, they lack a true sense of satisfaction. He recommends that find fulfillment involves taking a very personal look at how you define success in your own hearts of hearts and then what you need to follow your own path there.
The first step is to spend time defining your top 2-3 strengths and weaknesses. Then, ask yourself: what is my dream job? What would I do today if I had $10M?
I managed to fall back asleep and sleep in this morning. It's 11 am and I am still in bed although getting ready to shower and head out for the day to enjoy the beauty here in Bellagio. I wish I was staying here for a week and going down to Nice or Florence. I will need to plan a trip next year.
Yesterday was a really fun day. I dropped my stuff at the hotel and Dave, Patty and I got some coffee. We then jumped on the ferry, took a water taxi and arrived at the Villa Balbianello. The Villa is in Lenno overlooking Lake Como.It was built in 1787 on the site of a Franciscan monastery for the Cardinal Angelo Maria Durini. After the cardinal’s death in 1796 Giuseppe Visconti bought the villa and made improvements to its gardens and the loggia.
I n the nineteenth century the villa belonged to the Porro-Lambertenghi family. By the early twentieth century the buildings had fallen into a state of neglect when an American military officer, Butler Ames, purchased and renovated the villa and its garden. In 1974 it was bought by the explorer Guido Minzino (leader of the first Italian expedition to climb Mount Everest), who filled it with rich collections, including artifacts acquired on his expeditions. Monzino, who died in 1988, left the villa to the National Trust of Italy. A number of movies have used the villa for shooting, including A Month by the Lake (1995), Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones (2002), Ocean's Twelve (2004) and Casino Royale (2006).
I came back to the hotel and had a fabulous lunch that I enjoyed but my tummy didn't like at all. So I took a nap and got settled in. I met Sally at 7 pm at the lobby and we headed to dinner. I met her a day earlier on our boat ride and she was staying over the weekend. Over an amazing dinner, I discovered an inspiring woman who is a physician who is trying to make the world better in the health records arena. She has held some incredible positions in very well known companies. She has lived in Cambodia, Ethiopia and many other countries. Her son and her are now in Geneva where she is heading a major foundation. But what I was impressed most by was her spirit. We just talked about our lives and also about why we were both here.
What I am realizing here, especially with all the people I am meeting, is that I have no clue what I want to do next. The non profit world seems crazier than corporate actually. I am in no rush but it's making me think.
I just read that the human brain responds to being treated fairly in exactly the same way as it responds to winning money and eating our favorite food. Researchers conducted brain imaging experiments to arrive at this conclusion. They found out that when a person is treated fairly, the area in the brain that is tied to happiness gets activated. For many people, being treated fairly is more important than monetary reward and those who are treated fairly tend to be happier
Recent Comments