Pursuing Adventures

Being stuck on a Sunday - where does the time go?

I was planning to get a lot of work done today and so far, nothing.  I do know it's the weekend and a holiday but I was hoping to get motivated.  But I haven't been at all.

I feel stuck.  I am watching CNN Heroes and I know it's sappy but the tears are flowing.  All these people taking initiative and doing something.  I wish I did more.  I want to be able to impact other people's lives.  There are so many people out there really struggling and need help.

I watched a really bad movie on a very important topic.  Unfortunately, it totally lost the plot and over dramatized poverty. I chose to watch Mamooth because I love Gael García Bernal and the topic sounded interesting.  It's about a business man who made his fame by launching an Internet gaming site, which is compared to the My Space of gaming, and his wife who is an emergency room surgeon.  Their 8 year old spends most of her free time with her nanny, who came to America so she can send money back to her kids in the Phillipines—to better their lives.

This is yet another movie that takes place in three different parts of the world: New York, Thailand and the Philippines.  In New York, the dedicated emergency surgeon is passionate about her work.  She works crazy shifts and witnesses a boy who is brought in after being stabbed by his mother.  While she worries about this dying boy, her daughter is being raised by her Filipino nanny who is teaching her about the Filipino culture.  While trying to save the wounded, the mother distances herself from her own daughter.

Meanwhile, the Filipino nanny is questioning her decision to be in America as her eldest boy calls to tell her they want her back at home.  She tells him to take his younger brother to see the house that is being built for them with the money she is sending back home to understand why they are apart.   The eldest son tries to find a way to make money so his mother can come home faster; he is told he is too young. 

When his grandmother finds out that he was looking for work, she takes him for an education.  They go to the garbage dump where kids his age and younger are scrounging amidst the heaps of rubbish.  She picks up a piece of moldy bread and tells him to eat it since he must be hungry.  She didn’t feed him breakfast that morning.  You think he understands.  In the next scene, he is licking a big ice cream cone while they sit on a bench.  The grandmother tells him that the kids he sees around him live on the street.  Foreigners pick them up at night and give them money to go to their hotels.  When he asks questions about what they do for the money, she doesn’t want to tell the 10 year old the truth.   She tells him that the foreigners don’t want to sleep alone.

Later, he sneaks out of his grandmother’s house and rides his bike to that street.  A bunch of boys his age steal his bike and beat him up.  A foreigner comes by and appears to be a hero.  Salvador is lured and molested by a pedophile. Next morning he is found unconscious under a bridge, and is rushed to the hospital. His mother is called and quits her job right away to return to her sons.

And then in Thailand, our Internet guru has a lot of time on his hands.  He turns down a prostitute that is sent to his room by his clients.   And gets bored.  He decides to explore Thailand and ends up at a beach.   At a club, pretending to be a fireman he meets a prostitute and gives her money to go home and not to have sex with anyone.  She later shows up at his beach hut and they end up in bed.  He decides to head back home and leaves without saying goodbye.  He leaves her a $3,000 pen in the hope that she can end her cycle of poverty.  But she has no clue and cashes it for $30.  We then find out that she is supporting her baby daughter by selling her body.

So, that is the movie.  Important topic.  But poorly executed.  Way too melodramatic and with no real purpose.  A missed opportunity to say the least.

Things I heard today on TV

All the problems in the world are connected to the name of g-d.  Religion forces us to conform.  Organized religion is divisive.

Some times the hardest decision to make in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn down.

Taxi rides in NYC

I had a great time walking the streets of NYC.  I just love this city and come alive when I visit.  It has been a long time since I visited and this was a magical time.   I love seeing life just happening all around me.  Different people.  So many places to visit and I love the walking.  The weather was fantastic and so many great people: both family and friends.  

As I was in a taxi on the way back to the hotel after a fabulous visit to the Museum of Arts and Design and a sushi dinner with my cousin, I started writing down words I saw as my taxi flew down the streets of Manhattan:

• Radiance
• Corner
• Unthink
• Access
• Story
• Element
• Center
• Achieve

What does it all mean?

I am way too hard on myself.  I hate when I get like this but it's partly also the environment I am in.

Bottom line: I have to lighten up already!

What is Reality?

Reality is another word I am thinking about a lot lately.  It has so much to do with perception.  So I turned to Wikipedia to see what the accepted definition is:

"Reality, in everyday usage, means "the state of things as they actually exist." Literally, the term denotes what is real; in its widest sense, this includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. Reality in this sense includes being and sometimes is considered to include nothingness, as well. By contrast, the term existence is often restricted solely to being (compare with nature). The term reality first appeared in the English language in 1550, originally a legal term in the sense of "fixed property." It originated from the Modern Latin term realitatem, which was from Late Latin realis; the meaning of "real existence" is from 1647 onwards."

We grow up thinking that the same reality exists for everyone and that is where we make the first mistake in our thinking. And when you think about it, the concept of truth and justice is also subjective. 

I was graciously invited last week to hear John Sobrino, SJ speak last week at Santa Clara University.  Twenty years have passed since this Jesuit priest narrowly escaped being murdered by a government death squad alongside eight others.  And I came to hear him talk about what we we have learned since this atrocity.

This priest was teaching at the Jesuit-run University of Central America in San Salvador, but away from his residence in Thailand, when his housemates were murdered for their opposition to the country’s civil war. Six Jesuit priests, their housekeeper, and her 15-year-old daughter were killed.

His talk made me think about what reality really means.  He shared that: “we have learned that the world’s poor are practically of no consequence to anyone—not to the people who live in abundance nor to the people who have any kind of power. The First World is not interested in the Third World. As history shows, it is interested only in ways to despoil the Third World to increase its own abundance.” 

Wow.  That was so powerful.   What he is saying is that our reality of abundance has made us blind to the struggles of the poor.  Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the superficiality of our society.  I was attending a Corporate Social Responsibility Summit and as I was listening to the speakers, I kept thinking that if we are all as successful as we claim to be in helping, why is poverty still so widespread?  Why are our realities so different?

From Seth Godin on Settling

You define yourself by the work you do, and perhaps you need to redefine what you're willing to take and where you're looking for it.

Right or Wrong?

There needs to be a collective right and wrong so we can create some semblance of order in society.  However, I am now believing that right and wrong are very personal and subjective. 

Our parents and teachers instill in each of us a set of values of what is right and wrong.  Not only through what they say but more importantly, what they actually do.   And we grow up thinking these rules will bring us both justice and happiness.  Both are false beliefs.

In reality, we learn that what I may believe is right does not correspond to my boss' world order or even my partner.   Some people feel "wronged" because life is not happening based on the "rules," whatever they believe they should be.

Our Bodies

Are fragile.

Yesterday, I rushed out of the house and forgot to take my new medication.  I had a very stressful drive and missed my first meeting.  At one point, I found myself yelling at the top of my lungs at what I thought was a very stupid driver.  I actually felt a great release after that.  It felt good to just let it all go.  I never realized how relaxing it could be.

When I got back in my car after 4:00 pm to head home, I felt exhausted.  No energy.  I called my mom and yawned through the entire call (not because I was bored).  I was so happy to be home.  I was in bed at 8:00 pm and fast asleep by 8:08 pm.  I have a feeling that it was because I forgot my med.

Lesson learned: I have to take better care of my body.  I have to not just live inside my head.

Choices

At the end of the day if we have our health, we all have the ability to make choices about our lives.  I was turning into Santana Row today when I saw a young couple running with a baby carriage.  I don't know them.  But my impression was of a very vibrant young couple who was taking care of themselves and enjoying the gorgeous day.

We choose our lifestyle.   We choose our jobs.  We choose whether we are married or single.  We choose what we do every day.

When I think about it, while I always thought I would have kids I chose not to have kids because I was in bad relationships.  When you are young, you don't realize the power you have.  

I know that everyone faces challenges in their life and yet, we make so many assumptions in our day to day life.  We mostly make assumptions about other people.

I feel blessed that I have my health and I need to spend more energy on thinking about the choices I make.

Right now, I am sad about something in my life but I am choosing not to create waves.