I have been keeping a lot inside lately and not being able to write so easily. I've been observing a lot about how we humans love new things. I remember being so anxious to make a change and get off my roller coaster of travel and unbelievable work pressure. I was so looking forward to making a difference in the world and now, I have been in two positions that have been disappointing. They looked good from the outside but once the onion skin started peeling back, there were hard tears of disappointment.
And what are the common denominators for the disappointment? Basically, unrealistic expectations of what this experience should have been like. I expected to work with really smart people who do good in the world. The reality is that I have met some of the most uninspiring people who I do not enjoy working with. Some had no ethics, while others are simply dumb asses (my favorite new word of 2009). They make inappropriate and comments that make you think: "you didn't really just say that?" But the reality is they did and they think they are being funny. While anyone with half a brain knows it is insulting and just totally unnecessary.
My big learning is to say to myself, just don't pay attention to these jerks. And on most days, I haven't. It's been great since one of them has been away. But he is coming back and trying to get some time with me. I have no desire to talk to him. If I never saw him again, my life would be better.
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