I've been on this emotional roller coaster for the past 2 weeks and haven't been able to really blog. I try not to blog about work and that is so difficult because it is a big part of my life. I really struggle with it because I've been going through a bunch of stuff that has been building up inside.
It's so frustrating because it has all been building up inside. I love it when I follow my own heart and have a sense of being carefree and just living my life. It happens a lot. But not in the past 2 weeks. I've been feeling anxious and not centered at all. All I keep thinking.about is not worrying about my bank account for a few years and just taking off to travel and write. I have an outline of a book and with the right research, it can help so many people with their lives. But I have way too much responsibility right now and my plan that was way too dependent on company stock is far from being materialized. Don't get me wrong. I feel lucky that I have a job at a solid organization. But I am exhausted. For the past 9 years, I've worked like a maniac making other executives successful. Most did/do not really care about me but what they can get out of me.
I had to stop typing since I just got a very strange call from a colleague at work who wants to get together. I wonder what that's all about. Breathing. Don't give other people power. Stay focused.
At dinner last night I realized that the area that is missing for me is that I had a huge desire to connect with other people locally. And what I am doing right now is working from home with a very virtual organization. I need to join a local Board or find another avenue to fill that void.
I have a gorgeous view from my hotel room so I am going to enjoy the beauty of the Bay and then put on my happy face and go mingle at the company conference.
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