How did it get to be Monday? This weekend just flew by. It was the way I like it most. No long term plans, apart from a hair cut appointment, and the spontaneity of seeing great friends. It was so relaxed and just simple, fun. The time just flew by and I am here on Monday morning grateful for these adventures.
Right now, my key goal is getting healthy and boosting my immune system. I can't take any stress right now and I am terrified of catching any more bugs. I feel like I lost half of July by being so sick and summer is my favorite time of year. I need to make up my pool time this week. I was hoping to be home all of August but I have to fly out to DC for meetings <sigh>.
In my heart of hearts, I know that I need a break from everything to get a second wind and just build my strength. But I have to pay the bills and there is no one else to make that happen but me. I really have nothing to complain about and hope that's not what you are thinking I am doing. But I realize that I am simply burned out. I've been working and traveling like a dog for the past 8.5 years and it has taken a toll. I went through a very bad marriage and even worse divorce. It was all very ugly with enough drama to fuel a full season of TV. And, work, well, what can I say? Much drama and internal politics with so much baloney. It was like watching a tennis match of egos inner fighting with silly decisions being made. It took a toll, especially some of the situations that I was in where I faced some major "diversity" issues.
It is evident that PMDD has entirely entered my universe and my deep thinking is a result of all those hormones doing that same, disturbing dance inside my body. When I get healthy, I will be able to deal with it better. I am going to exercise a lot this week so my body fights back. When I find myself deep in thought re-thinking my life, I will get up and start thinking about the wonderful parts of my life. PMDD has impacted my life in so many ways and now that I am aware of it, I can deal with it a bit better. My heart goes out to women who have no idea they have it and get caught up with their lack of "control." Time to start working.
I love your insight and hope that getting your thoughts down on paper will help in dealing with the PMDD. Definitely call me if you need someone to help with the wine therapy!
Posted by: Sheila | August 11, 2008 at 09:34 AM