I was wondering what was going on with me today and I must be dense since I've being living through this for decades now. The signs are there for sure: the need for sweet and salty foods, feeling like the world may end at any point, not being able to focus and just an overall feeling of doom. It took me a few hours but once I figured it out, I could breath. Isn't that bizarre? Time has allowed me to manage this better once I am aware of what's going on.
Last night I watched The Next Food Network Star because I always like these cooking reality shows. I agreed with the judges that they need a combination of all three contestants in one since they would make the perfect new star together. But what I noticed most was that Lisa really annoyed me even though I think her food seems great. It's her constant doubting of herself that bugs me. She comes across as a perfectionist who constantly doubts herself and lets that voice in her head second guess herself all the time. It was painful to watch and it made me think. It made me think of why we get to that place and why if we are passionate about what we do, we can't just go with it. Where do these doubts come from? Why do we question ourselves and not just trust our gut? What's the worst that can happen when you are trying to be a food network star? She is her own worst enemy and it made me think about me. It made me realize I am way too hard on myself and need to lighten up a bit on the judgments.
Anyhow, it's 5:37 pm and I need to get some work done. I had some calls today but I haven't totally focused on 2 real deliverables for tomorrow. I am not sure if it's because I am playing the last minute game of getting it done or I just couldn't concentrate too much today. I am still sick and my energy is low. Happy PMDD!
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