A PMDD Rant

Why is sleeping so difficult? I'd like to sleep through the night for once. I think part of it is that I am getting my period. I have to snap out of it.
The weather sucks today and I need to get into the city but will do it after my call with M today. We'll see if it really happens. I just looked at his calendar for today and it's packed. I am no longer a priority for him as I don't do his work. Should be interesting. There is definitely something brewing over there and I can sense a lot of changes coming.
Ok ... laundry is folded. Shower taken. Breakfast consumed. Stress is high. Anyone who has never experienced PMDD has no idea how frustrating it is. I want to scream right now. Why? Because I feel like I am about to explode. Everything is irritating me for no reason. Not a good day to go into the office at all. I am so on edge that it is scary. Why? No idea. It's like there is a monster inside of me. And now that I am writing all this I just want to cry. Why? I have no idea.
I just talked to M. He is busy with other priorities. I am not disappointed because I totally anticipated it. No big surprise. Things are good between us. I don't really need anything.
By the end of March, I need to know what I am doing next and that will keep me sane.
I am going to start my campaign of meeting with people locally. I am going to start setting up meetings next week. I also need to choose about 10 blogs that I monitor and comment on. I have a plan. I can breath. I should breath. But this PMDD feels like it's choking me and I am short of breath. Time for Alleve.