I was the fourth person off the plane in SF and headed to the custom control area. I heard this woman behind me saying that she can't understand why people rush off the plane when the luggage takes so long. I guess she has never experienced "secondary immigration." For some of us, it's not that simple. For the past 6 months, I've had an extra added to my travel because I've been sent to the bad place.
So there was no line. I saw this officer waving at me. I gave him my passport, green card receipt and customs form. He looked confused as he was reading the receipt and then started checking stuff on his computer. And then my favorite line so far in this immigration saga: "why are you visiting the US?" I didn't miss a beat. "
"Because I live here"
"Oh," he said.
"How long have you lived here?," he asked while his head was still looking at the computer. He never looked at me. I could also barely hear what he was saying.
"Since 1996," I said. Let him do the math. He had the gun.
He just grunted and kept looking into the terminal. And then he said something, which I couldn't understand.
"I can't understand what you're saying," I said
He still didn't turn to look at me and said: "You need to go to secondary."
I said, "Excellent." He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.
He finally looked up and in an angry tone said, "what did you just say?"
I looked at him and repeated myself: " I said, excellent," and took my documents and started walking down the hall to the bad place. I didn't look at him again and I didn't feel a gun in my back.
I came into the back room and was pleased to see it was empty for the very first time ever. There was no one being grilled about anything. I asked the officer if he wanted me to put my documents into the cubby hole. But he said he could take it. I sat down and waited. Another couple entered with duty free bags from Mexico. Apparently, there was an issue with their American passport. I just waited. The officer called me over and gave me my documents. He told me that he has been working there for over 20 years and the only reason I get sent to secondary is because the officers are lazy and are not doing their job. Just a reality. Not something you want to hear after a 12-hour international flight.
I said my goodbyes and that I'll see him in 2 weeks. The woman sitting there said:" wow, you have to go through this every 2 weeks." I said, "yup." The officer said as I was leaving: "She is our special VIP."
Excellent!
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