Speed Dating with 5 Courses

So here is how it was advertised:
Join us for one of our most popular events--a dinner that allows you the chance to get to know everyone, but at a slower, more in-depth pace than the ever-popular Speed dating. We will enjoy a delicious five course dinner, wherein after each course, the women switch to a different table (that's right, it's time for the ladies to take their turn!).
Here is what happened:
I was in a pissy mood the whole day; don't know why. Maybe it was the call with the lawyer that I had this afternoon? I was in no mood to go out. Around 5 pm I forced myself to jump in the shower (again). I didn't have time to fuss with my hair this morning when I took a shower between conference calls. I only changed tops twice. I gained weight recently and I am not 100% happy with it and haven't done anything productive to get back into shape. And where was I going? To eat with a bunch of strangers. I never eat 5 courses! Anyhow, I am looking good although I may be a bit hot with the long sweater I am wearing. I have a bunch of clothes to dry clean so I am limiting myself today. And I am trying to hide under the layers ... so what's a bit of sweat between strangers? I am just hoping these are all new people but I am expecting the unexpected. But ... please no playboy bunny guy! Ok ... I better go ... I am always last to arrive ...
So I just got back home. Had to roll the garbage cans down the driveway before I could come in and blog my latest adventure. So, first of all, I walked into the wrong event but who could blame me? The guys were really cute but one of the women noticed that I didn't work with them. The dinner was in a very stuffy back room of a seafood restaurant in Walnut Creek. It was dark and felt old and used.
I walked into the room and the hostess gave me my name tag and I got a glass of cheap Chardonnay. There were 5 round tables waiting patiently for the men and women standing around to join them.
When people started to sit down, I decided to start my own table and see what happened. My Jewish lawyer from my last dinner came to sit next to me. I didn't even notice he was there. But he was sweet and much quieter with this group. To my right was Derek who seemed nice. Then there was Vicky who is in her late40s. She has been a member for three years and loves the events. She is looking for a younger man and seems to be stuck at 38. Tim was sitting to her left and was the one quizzing everyone. They had those stupid questions scattered on the table but luckily, no one picked them up. But it was first of 5 tables for the evening. It was the women who were switching tables so I got to know Vicky and Melinda very well. Melinda was dressed very sexy and she turned all the men's heads. My first impression was that she had a wild fight with her eyeliner and mascara ... and they won. Later on, I found out that she is a mother of 7 with 11 grandchildren. It was hard to believe!
In a nutshell, Where was the advertised "delicious food"? The food actually sucked. A seafood restaurant and the 2 entree options were chicken or pasta. Where was the Halibut? The first table turned out to be the most interesting. It was very funny when Tim revealed that he is a pilot for United; he looked familiar! It was the most intellectual conversation of the evening.
The second table had 3 guys and only one seemed talkative. Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G? And it all went down hill from there. The third table had 2 guys and by this point, I bonded with the 2 women and we even had our inside jokes. The guys were so dull.
The fourth table also had 2 guys. One was very cute but I could tell he was a player. He was all over Melinda until he discovered that she had 11 grandchildren. We ended up knowing some of the same people since he was in sales. The other guy kept going to the bar and getting pints of beer. He shared that he studied Portuegese when he was younger to go pick up women in Brazil! Need I say more? I didn't ask a lot of questions about his trip to Thailand. He was so creepy even though he was the only wearing a suit and tie. Looks can be deceiving. We did get into a conversation about jet lag and that is when the news (posted below) became the most interesting point of conversation the whole evening. Viagara caught their attention and provided for some laughs.
The last table had 1 guy. I felt bad for him. He was a software engineer from Taiwan who has been in the US for 24 years so it turned out to be more of a conversation between the women. Vicky gave him a speech to manage his expectations with the dinners and just expect to have fun. She also shared that she heard that 35% of men on match.com are married. I thought that was bizarre ... how would she know? And how many married women are there? I do believe there are people hiding behind their computers BUT you can meet psychos at a bar and/or in person. You need to have the same level of caution in person and online unfortunately.
Melinda joined the service because of a friend and I heard the story a few times that her friend met a new man in a bar. She told me she was 58 ... she really didn't look it ... and she seemed skeptical about the whole thing. We decided to drive together to the BBQ next week since we live a few blocks away.
I looked at my watch and I was so ready to go home.