Pursuing Adventures

First two weeks of 2011

Got home last night and so happy.  My flight landed at 8:30 pm and I was home by 9:30 exhausted.  Boy, I was so happy to see my front door and my bed.   I actually got a decent night's sleep and feel refreshed.  I had a good week in Toronto.  Mostly, because I have made a decision and I am going to do my best to stick to it this year:

Focus on what I have and ignore what I don't.  Live with what I have and take it to the next level since I have so much ...

What I learned from the Costa Rica trip is that people with millions of dollars are not happy.  They can fly on private jets.  They can pay nannies to raise their children.  They stress over getting their dysfunctional kids into the best school.   And they are miserable.  They don't have deep relationships because they use what they have as a shield.  Money can't buy what they don't have.

Now, back to me.

I have my health, my family, my job, my house, my friends, my vision, my passion, my life experiences, my curiousity, my cooking and so much more.   That's what I am focusing on ... big life lesson.

Meet Maxi

Having a great glass of Syrah and hangIng out with Maxi, my new iPAD. I don't have my wireless keyboard so typing takes getting used to. I want to be able to write more with it and be able to get more off my chest.

This week has been draining.

The good news is that I get to smack the door shut real soon and I am grateful. It shows me that I need to focus on me. One of the conversations I had today was all about how they are going to tell the world what an asshole my boss is. It made me laugh because there are probably only 7 people on earth who don't know that.

Home

I am so happy I am home instead of being on a plane today.  It's good to just sit in my surroundings and breath.   My head is spinning.  Kenya and Rwanda were an amazing experience that I need to write more about.  Barcelona feels like a dream.  And I survived London and ended it with a fun evening with friends.  And now I am back.  The sun is shining.  I had some fantastic loquats that I picked off my tree and the coffee was so good.  I need to go get some fresh food.  I want to eat healthy and get back into shape.  I have to focus on it and stick to it.

Then, there is food for the soul.   I need to get off my ass and make some change.   I need to take control and get going on some projects.  More about that later ...

Choosing a Dream For 2010

Just had dinner at one of my favorite places in the world and I was alone.  I had a great evening too!  I am reading Shadow of the Wind, which Claire introduced me too, and it kept me good company.  I only had an African Sky cocktail and glass of Rijoa with edamame for lunch so I was ready for a feast.  And what a feast it was.  I started with some hamaci and maguro nigri, which melted in my mouth. 

It was followed by  grilled Japanese eggplant, which was like candy, and grilled seabass.  The flavors were amazing and I enjoyed every bite.  Yum!  I enjoyed it because I knew it was a treat and I was grateful I could afford it.

Happiness is not all about money and economic and financial growth. But money does help meet needs that we choose for ourselves.  I was watching the sous chef tonight.  His precision was incredible.  He took a persimmon , sliced it and then trimmed the areas with the peel.  He didn't peel it.  He cut off edible areas.  Peeling would have taken too long.  I just imagined how much waste takes place to feed the wealthy.

So here are some of my goals for this year:

1. Health: start an exercise program, get a physical, address weight and fitness levels
2. Relationships: invest in valuable relationships, create greater community
3. Career: make changes, do what I love and get paid for it
4. Community: get involved in a community project and make an impact
5. Personal: Write
6. Fun Time: Cooking vacation, oceans, tranquility, adventures
7. Financial: increase pay by 20%

A meltdown about where I am and how to move on

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." 

Carl Jung

The last week has been one of reflection and as a result, was painful.  I had a lot of realizations that helped me turn the corner.  One year ends and another begins.  At the end of 2008, I am looking at where I am, where I want to be and what changes I can make to get there.  Boy, it's not an easy road at all.

It opened some old wounds about my disastrous marriage to a liar.  I did the stuff you are not supposed to do like play the "what if" game.  What if I never married him?  Where would my life be?  What if I met someone else and had a great family life with children right now?  Believe me, I went through all the possible scenarios while I ate my way through the day.  Breakfast included coffee and a big slice of the leftover Viennese cake that friends brought for the Hanukkah gathering on Saturday night.  And the eating continued all day.  And on Monday and Tuesday too.  Monday was all about crying and letting all the emotions out.  

I felt so fragile during those three days totally out of control.  I didn't want to talk to anyone.  Actually, I was in no state to talk to anyone.  I knew that they would ask what was wrong and I couldn't put it into words.  Spending time with a friend who is going through a very difficult relationship opened a lot of old wounds for me.   It came back to asking questions like: "Gee, I am pretty smart.  How the hell did I end up with such a loser?  Don't I know better?"  Why didn't I make better choices? 

I have been feeling very alone lately even though I have some great friends.  I was hoping that this year i would work in an environment where I would be surrounded by people during the work day.  But, instead, I am working 100% of the time from home and spending the most time alone than I have in years.  At least when I was on the road traveling for work, I was with people all the time.  Now, I am alone most of the week day from morning to night.  It is very isolating and I need to make some changes. 

Instead of taking care of my body by getting on a schedule where I get on the treadmill 3-4 times a week, I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

Luckily, it only lasted for a few days and I have come back to myself with a desire to change and make it happen.

New styles in Barcelona

Uzi, Leah and I decided to head to central Barcelona and grab a falafel at Maoz.  We got our falafels and hung out at the salad bar where you can continually add different salads, as much as your heart desires.  The place was packed but we managed to find three seats.  It was very good and filled my longing for a good falafel.

Uzi wanted to stop at the art supply store but it was closed until 4:30 pm and I was craving my favorite coffee.  We walked around the squares of the Gothic quarter and Leah led us to a  cafe she used to love but had not been to in years.   There was a huge wooden camel at the entrance and we cut through a clothing store to get there.  When I got to the top of the stairs and looked around, I felt out of place.  I certainly didn't fit in with all these tattooed and pierced youngsters.  Nevertheless, it was an adventure.  The whole upper floor, which used to be thriving, was now closed.

There were two dogs scurrying around like crazy and their owner kept tossing a rubber chicken they were fighting over.  We got our coffees and were taking this place in.  Uzi was getting irritated by the dogs since they were running wild and didn't care that we were there.  I love dogs but it was especially annoying when they started tossing an empty water bottle at our feet.  We did watch all the people who came and went and had some good laughs.

I looked over and saw this girl whose pants were below her waist and her striped underwear was there for all to admire.  We captured some photos as it is difficult to describe:

Beautiful day in Barcelona

Every where you look, there is ham.  Some of the delis are just gorgeous and what they offer is super tasty.  I love the tapas in Barcelona.  I can only have them when I am here and I truly enjoy the quality and variety from potato bravos to spiny tuna in peppers.  It's all goodness and I wish I could find a decent tapas place at home.  But maybe it's just saved for my visits to Barcelona?

It was a very warm day in Barcelona today.  I walked for close to two hours and was wishing I was wearing lighter clothes.  I sat myself down in a bustling cafe.  three women who were sitting next to me abruptly got up in disgust.  I can't speak Spanish but I do speak body language and it was obvious that they felt they were not getting any service.  At that point, the waitress walked by and they just took it out on her.  She started pointing with her hands to how many people were there.  They walked away.  Then, she turned to me in a sigh.  I ordered my coffee and it came in less than two minutes.  No complaints from me.

I love sitting at a cafe during the day.  But every one here smokes ... A LOT!   Only the two mothers with babies don't have a pack on their table.   My table has none.  I pushed the ashtray away when I sat down.  It felt good to walk today but every once in a while, I found myself inhaling someone's "cancer stick." 

Tomorrow, I plan to play tourist.  Part of me just wants to continue to wander aimlessly and snap photos.  We'll see.   It's so good to be away from work right now.  A much needed break and some more great meals.

Making chalah with Leah

There are things we take for granted like being able to go to the supermarket and buy a nice, fresh chalah for Rosh Hashanah.  Leah found that her kosher butcher had run out of chalahs for the holiday so she decided to make her first one.

She got the recipe from her sister and off we went to get the ingredients.  Yesterday, I found myself googling yeast to find out what to do with the block she bought from the bakery around the corner.  Personally, I've always used the ones that come in packages with instructions so I was totally clueless.

She consulted with her sister in Toronto who is an expert chalah baker and who sent her the recipe.   She made it like they did in the old country.  No modern electronic gadgets to knead; just the force of her hands and drive to see the final product on the table for the holiday.

It was actually very fun and funny.  But in the end, success.  It was amazing ... she braided 5 of them like a pro and today dropped one off at the grocer's who was curious about what she was making, which is what makes Leah so wonderful ... she cares about people.   

Ok ... so I just LOVE my new ...

Juicer.  I bought it for myself for my birthday in June.  It has been sitting quietly in its box since July and finally came out yesterday.   It took me a bit to figure out how to take it apart and wash all the pieces.  After my workout with Greg yesterday, I got veggies and fruit.   This morning, I took 2 apples, 3 carrots and 4 celery stalks and made the most amazing drink.  I had 2 glasses to start my day and all of a sudden, I had energy.  To top it off, I put Abba on (quite loudly for early in the morning), jumped into the pool and did a morning ritual of swimming, dancing, running and singing in the water.

This morning was simply bliss.   I am hoping for many more healthy days where I am in charge and don't let me get sucked into my hormonal moods.  At the end of the day, most of us don't make the time to take care of our health.  I got sucked into the pattern of always having something more important to do.  But no more.  When I am home, I am in charge ... and I have this great recipe book for juicing ... I am looking forward to making gazapcho with tons of garlic!

What are you doing for your health?

Living a full life

I am back for a brief break and then heading out again.  I walked around but have no patience to shop.  There is one art gallery I saw last night that I want to go back and check out.  I found a quiet bar where I had a delicious pizza.  The wine was awful so I didn't drink it.  No reason to drink bad wine.  It is really hot and climbing all the stairs makes you sweat when you get to the top of the town.  And it's so breath taking that a bit of sweat doesn't really matter.  Of course, the waitress put down 2 glasses and I had to tell her again that it's just me.

I started reading an article Michael left with me.  He was one of the highlights of this week.  We spent a lot of time talking and connected quite quickly.  It's strange how you can meet someone and feel like you've know them for a very long time.  He tended to share my perspective on the week as well. 

So, I first used the article to cool myself off since I was so hot when I sat down.  I then started reading what Robert Kaplan had to say in the last issue of HBR. 

I got a bunch out of it like that ambitious professionals (I love this term) definition of success is often influenced by friend, family and colleagues rather than by what they believe.  And no matter what they accomplish, they lack a true sense of satisfaction.  He recommends that find fulfillment involves taking a very personal look at how you define success in your own hearts of hearts and then what you need to follow your own path there.

The first step is to spend time defining your top 2-3 strengths and weaknesses.  Then, ask yourself: what is my dream job?  What would I do today if I had $10M?

 

waking up in Bellagio

I managed to fall back asleep and sleep in this morning.  It's 11 am and I am still in bed although getting ready to shower and head out for the day to enjoy the beauty here in Bellagio.  I wish I was staying here for a week and going down to Nice or Florence.  I will need to plan a trip next year.   

Yesterday was a really fun day.  I dropped my stuff at the hotel and Dave, Patty and I got some coffee.  We then jumped on the ferry, took a water taxi and arrived at the Villa Balbianello.  The Villa is in Lenno overlooking Lake Como. It was built in 1787 on the site of a Franciscan monastery for the Cardinal Angelo Maria Durini. After the cardinal’s death in 1796 Giuseppe Visconti bought the villa and made improvements to its gardens and the loggia.

I n the nineteenth century the villa belonged to the Porro-Lambertenghi family. By the early twentieth century the buildings had fallen into a state of neglect when an American military officer, Butler Ames, purchased and renovated the villa and its garden. In 1974 it was bought by the explorer Guido Minzino (leader of the first Italian expedition to climb Mount Everest), who filled it with rich collections, including artifacts acquired on his expeditions. Monzino, who died in 1988, left the villa to the National Trust of Italy. A number of movies have used the villa for shooting, including A Month by the Lake (1995), Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones (2002), Ocean's Twelve (2004) and Casino Royale (2006).

I came back to the hotel and had a fabulous lunch that I enjoyed but my tummy didn't like at all.  So I took a nap and got settled in.  I met Sally at 7 pm at the lobby and we headed to dinner.  I met her a day earlier on our boat ride and she was staying over the weekend.  Over an amazing dinner, I discovered an inspiring woman who is a physician who is trying to make the world better in the health records arena.  She has held some incredible positions in very well known companies.  She has lived in Cambodia, Ethiopia and many other countries.  Her son and her are now in Geneva where she is heading a major foundation.   But what I was impressed most by was her spirit.  We just talked about our lives and also about why we were both here. 

What I am realizing here, especially with all the people I am meeting, is that I have no clue what I want to do next.  The non profit world seems crazier than corporate actually.  I am in no rush but it's making me think. 

Why I am getting over my Diet Coke addiction

According to Dr. Ralph Walton, there may be a correlation to depression and bipolar disorder to aspartame - the sweetener used in Diet Coke. 

A survey of aspartame studies by Ralph Walton MD of Northeastern Ohio Universities College of Medicine found: "Of the 166 studies felt to have relevance for questions of human safety, 74 had NutraSweet industry related funding and 92 were independently funded. One hundred percent of the industry funded research attested to aspartame's safety, whereas 92 percent of the independently funded research identified a problem."

One in 15,000 people may not properly metabolize phenylalanine, an essential amino acid found in aspartame. The substance is a precursor to tyrosine, a building block of norepinephrine and dopamine, but, in the words of the FDA: "High levels of this amino acid in body fluids can cause brain damage." Accordingly, the FDA duly requires a warning that all products containing the sweetener be labeled for the substance. Newborns are routinely screened for phenylalanine metabolism (the PKU test), which rules out the likelihood of an unsuspecting consumer gulping down hemlock.

Life is very very good

What a great weekend.  I had so much fun and it's still not over.  Five women in one house has been so comfortable and relaxed.  That's what friendship is all about.  I was really disappointed that Amy couldn't make it the whole weekend since Erica had a fever.  But I was glad she came yesterday and got to hang out with us.  And I totally understand.

The Raclette was a huge hit.  It's been sitting unwrapped in my garage and I questioned why I got it initially.  But after this weekend, I am going to start using it a lot.  We had great veggies, meats and cheese!  And it was so fun that we were all involved with making our food.

Ok, I am going to pack up now ... I am so not ready to go actually!  But I will always have amazing memories of this adventure.

My Birthday Week

I feel guilty about not being in Toronto.  I knew it would happen and now that it got bad with the fire at mom's building, I don't know what to do.  I am sure they are doing ok and there really is not much I can do from here.  I wish there was.  I also know that if the three of us would have been together right now, it would be much tougher.  So I am trying to get perspective.  It's just awful that when mom needs to recover from her operation, there has been no electricity in the building.   The good news is that the woman whose condo exploded was not home when it happened.

I am just waking up.  I've been eating well but my stomach is off.  I was up in the middle of the night and took some drugs just now.  Hope it's temporary.   We had so much fun yesterday.  Carol and Harvey left for their cruise and we headed to the plant and flower shop.  I am enjoying the flowers and plants we got.  Apparently, this place is open 24-hours, which is incredible.  We had an amazing lunch at a tapa place.  We sat next to a group of really obnoxious guys who were so loud.  Initially we thought they were French but they were a combination of nationalities.  We managed to tune them out entirely.  I finally had my padron peppers, which were amazing.  It was a really relaxed day.

Lisa came over and it was nice to catch up.  I can't believe she is married already.  Time goes by very quickly.  It was fun to sit on the patio and shoot the shit.  And of course, some nice wine was involved.   I probably over did it.  We went to bed before midnight, which is early for Spain.

I've seen some photos of me and I will pursue my new healthy lifestyle when I get back.  I need to find a nutritionist and get with my long over due program.

Cooking up a storm

I feel ready bad since I didn't go to Saulsalito today.  I had every intent but some times intention is simply not enough.  I think there were 2 key factors: I was feeling a bit under the weather since I didn't sleep well and I was just tired.  I ended up sleeping for 2 hours in the middle of the day!

Once I got up, I started prepping and it was so much fun.  I made marinades for the Argentine flank steak and the rosemary lemon chicken.  They both need to be grilled today.   I then made potatoes with leeks, shallots and garlic that need to be crisped today and yams with honey.    The orange beet salad is ready and so are the Catalan mushrooms.  I still need to make the Thai curry halibut and jasmine coconut rice.   I figure there will be plenty of food and leftovers.  It's a tradition to leave my place with food.  I always thought I'd have a big family and that my kids would take leftovers home for the week.  This is the next best thing.